A cat goes to the psychiatrist
Psychiatrist: Please come in.
No response from cat.
Psychiatrist: Please. Come in.
Still no response.
Psychiatrist: If you don't come in I'll have to shut the door. It's cold. (PSYCHIATRIST CLOSES DOOR. SCRATCHING ENSUES.)
Cat: I'll come in now.
Psychiatrist: (RE-OPENS DOOR AND CLOSES IT AFTER CAT.) Please, have a seat.
Cat: I prefer to stand.
Psychiatrist: As you wish. Now -
Cat: - on this table behind you.
Psychiatrist: Very well. (TURNING CHAIR AROUND AND PRODUCING NOTEBOOK.) Now, what brought you to me?
Psychiatrist: Um, what brought you to me?
Cat: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was busy watching that pigeon in the garden.
CONTINUE IN THIS VEIN UNTIL THE END OF THE SESSION, when cat takes ten minutes to decide to leave.
© Nick Garlick 2017