Terrorists wipe out most of western Europe’s leaders in a concerted attack on England’s capital. The attack, which had to have cost the GDP of several small nations to organize, not only manages to infiltrate the Metropolitan police, but also the guard at Buckingham Palace!

The day is saved, however, by our hero Mike Bannon, the US president’s head bodyguard. He slaughters Schwarzeneggian quantities of attackers, has the hero’s standard inexhaustible ammo pouch, and can shrug off the impact of a high-powered bullet in his arm as though it were no more than an ant bite.

The whole thing is completely ridiculous from beginning to end, but watching it isn't my biggest regret. It’s this: that I couldn’t have gone back in some kind of time machine and seen it when I was 14, when it would have been ABSOLUTELY The Greatest Movie Ever Made!