A cat goes to the psychiatrist

Psychiatrist:  Please come in.

No response from cat.

 Psychiatrist: Please. Come in.

Still no response.

Psychiatrist:  If you don't come in I'll have to shut the door. It's cold. (PSYCHIATRIST CLOSES DOOR. SCRATCHING ENSUES.)

Cat:     I'll come in now.

Psychiatrist:  (RE-OPENS DOOR AND CLOSES IT AFTER CAT.) Please, have a seat.

Cat:     I prefer to stand.

Psychiatrist:  As you wish. Now -

Cat:     - on this table behind you.

Psychiatrist:  Very well. (TURNING CHAIR AROUND AND PRODUCING NOTEBOOK.) Now, what brought you to me?

No response.

Psychiatrist:  Um, what brought you to me?

Cat:     I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was busy watching that pigeon in the garden.

CONTINUE IN THIS VEIN UNTIL THE END OF THE SESSION, when cat takes ten minutes to decide to leave.

© Nick Garlick 2017